It's all about me & possibly a bit about you too, depends on perspective.

“It’s a beautiful day, I’m gonna celebrate, I’m gonna tell everyone, I just can’t wait” are words to a song we sing, in the Kids Ministry class, that I teach once a month. This is one of my favorites we sing cause it gets the kids (Pre-K) dancing and yelling it with me, well sometimes. Other times they act the same way I feel, up to late drinking wine the night before and getting up the next morning to show a bunch of pre-K kids the Joy/Love of Jesus. Take it how you want but I’m a real person, a real mom, and well I like wine. Plus I was at a wedding and there was an after party with the family, how could I say no? 

Anyways, as I stated in the last blog, I’ve lived in a few places and driven even more. With my first husband being Active Duty Army, our first duty station was in Fort Hood, TX. We lived there for around 6 years, I think, I could be wrong. Who knows with my forgetful brain now? So I would drive up to the Kentuckiana area to visit family during his deployments. I was usually pregnant, as I was throughout all my 20’s, it seemed. I would pack up the kiddos and head out for the 12-14 hour drive, sometimes longer depending on how the trip went with toddlers. Anyways, when most people get ready for a long drive like that, everyone starts off so excited. Music playing, dancing in the car, with snacks, toys, movies, and pillows all ready to go. The excitement is high and happy with smiles all around. “Everyone ready to go” I would say. They would all cheer with excitement and off we went. 

“It’s a beautiful day, I’m gonna celebrate, I’m gonna tell everyone, I just can’t wait” was the tone we all would have, well for the first hour. So there are a few plus stories I can share, that stand out. That way you can choose which one you like best or even relate to. Now that I’m sharing these, pray that CPS doesn’t get called on me from past parenting while traveling with kids and pregnant. Good Grief, maybe I shouldn’t share some of these stories. 

So the first one on the list, I call “Yes Officer, I’m gonna assume I was speeding”.  Now parents, most of you, if not all, understand the moments when your children are screaming in the back of the car, in my case the van that they are hungry and have to pee. Now with a toddler potty training, potty time has to happen to keep the training going in the right direction. The older ones just wine and complain to the point you don’t like them anymore and wonder why God made you their mother. Anyways, I see a sign that we are just a few miles to the nearest rest area, so yes I start hitting that gas while kids are screaming in the back that they have to pee. One that they are thirsty, that’s where I started the saying, that my husband loves, “Then drink your spit!” I mean what the heck do they want me to do when I’m driving with nothing around us and they already drank and ate all the freaking snacks as if the world was ending during our drive. Plus I have one about to pee their pants, all over my van. So yes, I was speeding as I was on a Nascar track, on the last lap, about to win my first race and become famous forever. Go, Jeff Gordon, Go! Yeah, I was a Gordon fan. Sorry, not sorry. 

So, exactly what you see occurring in this story, did and somewhere between TX and Indiana. Officer on my tail, his red and blue lights flashing in my rearview mirror. Thank you, God, for teaching me a valuable lesson…DO NOT HAVE KIDS. I pull over, and turn off the car, with kids still screaming and now wondering why I stopped. Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy. What A fun exciting family trip to see family, (sigh). The officer comes to the window and asks the question of course, as they always do. They mine as well just have it glued to their forehead, save them some breath asking. “Do you know why I pulled you over ma’am?” “Yes Officer, I’m gonna assume I was speeding?” He then asks, why? Now I try to be respectful as much as I can be but at that moment in time, I know he could see, I hate life right now, due to my facial expression, as I rolled down the window. I kindly showed him the back of the van and said “that’s why.” “So not to be rude, officer but if you are gonna give me a ticket, can you please follow me to the nearest rest area so my kids can pee and drink before I hurt them or you can take them to the bathroom and I will gladly sit here in quietness to wait for my ticket.” He calmly pulled his head out of the front window after witnessing the chaos of screaming children in the backseat and kindly said to me, “I’m going to let you get off with a warning, but please slow down a bit for the other drivers on the road.” I said thank you Officer and we went our separate ways. Him who knows, me well to the next stop of course. The moral of the story is that these trips are not as fun as they start off to be when you have children. It’s a beautiful day, will eventually turn into Calgon take me away.